同胞冲突及其解决:家庭子系统的影响

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屈国梁, 曹晓君(

)

西华师范大学教育学院, 四川南充 637002

收稿日期:2020-03-17出版日期:2021-02-15发布日期:2020-12-29
通讯作者:曹晓君E-mail:cxj841118@aliyun.com

Sibling conflict and its resolution: The effects of family subsystem

QU Guoliang, CAO Xiaojun(

)

School of Education, China West Normal University, Nanchong 637002, China

Received:2020-03-17Online:2021-02-15Published:2020-12-29
Contact:CAO Xiaojun E-mail:cxj841118@aliyun.com

摘要/Abstract

摘要： 同胞冲突是指在一个完整的家庭中, 具有相同生身父母的两个或多个人在行为、目标或活动上所表达出的不相容, 其通常表现为争吵和敌对情绪以及相互间的攻击行为。父母干预同胞冲突的方式分为孩子中心策略、控制策略和不干预策略。家庭系统理论指出, 家庭是一个有等级结构的、动态的系统, 这个系统中的子系统(包括父母婚姻关系、亲子关系和同胞关系)是相互联系、相互影响的。基于这一理论, 探讨家庭子系统对同胞冲突的影响, 整合建构同胞冲突的理论假设模型, 以便从多路径的角度去分析同胞冲突的产生机制。未来的研究需要对同胞冲突及其相关概念进行区分或整合, 关注父母干预同胞冲突的方式的影响因素, 并且以发展的眼光去看待同胞冲突。

图/表 3

表1调解四步曲

步骤	内容
第一步	调解人制定基本规则和行为准则, 以减少冲突升级和敌对的可能性。
第二步	调解人在调解过程中发现冲突的问题。只有明确问题, 集中讨论, 才能让冲突双方在解决问题上取得进展。
第三步	调解人试图促进相互理解并在冲突的双方之间建立移情。
第四步	调解人鼓励冲突的双方提出可能的解决方案, 并从中选择双方都能接受和实现的解决方案。

表1调解四步曲

步骤	内容
第一步	调解人制定基本规则和行为准则, 以减少冲突升级和敌对的可能性。
第二步	调解人在调解过程中发现冲突的问题。只有明确问题, 集中讨论, 才能让冲突双方在解决问题上取得进展。
第三步	调解人试图促进相互理解并在冲突的双方之间建立移情。
第四步	调解人鼓励冲突的双方提出可能的解决方案, 并从中选择双方都能接受和实现的解决方案。

表2儿童早期亲密同胞关系的基本能力列表

能力	描述
积极参与	玩耍、交谈、共同的兴趣、享乐和乐趣。确定一些适合所有同胞不同发展水平的活动。
凝聚力	认可并重视一系列相互帮助、支持、保护、合作、忠诚、信任、自豪的实例。
建立支持型的共同经验	欣赏同胞对彼此和家庭的独特认识, 以加强联系, 同时避免利用这些认识损害同胞的利益。重视共同的和独立的利益。
社会和情绪理解(换位思考)	去中心化; 学会评估和尊重同胞的独特观点、需要、目标和兴趣。
情绪调节	在情绪上面临挑战和挫折的情况下识别和管控情绪。
行为控制	避免做一些同胞不喜欢的行为(如专横、调侃、使在朋友面前尴尬、不尊重个人界限和空间、过度活跃、胡闹)。
形成中立或积极的归因	在情况不明的处境下, 孩子们可能会对同胞的行为意图形成敌对的归因; 孩子们必须学会检查或纠正错误的归因。家庭成员应帮助澄清意图, 并就他人行为的影响进行交流。
冲突管理、问题解决	冲突是可以解决的社会问题, 但儿童需要明确地学习这些方法。父母有效的冲突管理策略的运用和构建(例如, 协作解决问题、调解)对儿童学习至关重要。
评价父母的差别对待行为	讨论父母差别对待的影响, 调整父母的行为以满足儿童的独特需要。

表2儿童早期亲密同胞关系的基本能力列表

能力	描述
积极参与	玩耍、交谈、共同的兴趣、享乐和乐趣。确定一些适合所有同胞不同发展水平的活动。
凝聚力	认可并重视一系列相互帮助、支持、保护、合作、忠诚、信任、自豪的实例。
建立支持型的共同经验	欣赏同胞对彼此和家庭的独特认识, 以加强联系, 同时避免利用这些认识损害同胞的利益。重视共同的和独立的利益。
社会和情绪理解(换位思考)	去中心化; 学会评估和尊重同胞的独特观点、需要、目标和兴趣。
情绪调节	在情绪上面临挑战和挫折的情况下识别和管控情绪。
行为控制	避免做一些同胞不喜欢的行为(如专横、调侃、使在朋友面前尴尬、不尊重个人界限和空间、过度活跃、胡闹)。
形成中立或积极的归因	在情况不明的处境下, 孩子们可能会对同胞的行为意图形成敌对的归因; 孩子们必须学会检查或纠正错误的归因。家庭成员应帮助澄清意图, 并就他人行为的影响进行交流。
冲突管理、问题解决	冲突是可以解决的社会问题, 但儿童需要明确地学习这些方法。父母有效的冲突管理策略的运用和构建(例如, 协作解决问题、调解)对儿童学习至关重要。
评价父母的差别对待行为	讨论父母差别对待的影响, 调整父母的行为以满足儿童的独特需要。

图1家庭子系统对同胞冲突的影响路径注:实线为双向作用, 虚线为单向作用。

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